I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
