Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
