im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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