I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
