am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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