thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
We had to coat check the pizza.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
