thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize