This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
