And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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