My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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