Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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