She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
