She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
