Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
