haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
