And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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