1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
The air taste purple.
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