just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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