it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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