this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
