Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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