Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Randomize
