Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize