You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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