i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
