Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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