We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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