this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
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