Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
