is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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