I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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