He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
