Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
The struggles of a small town man whore
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
