OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
