My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize