Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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