i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize