Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
she woke up with a sticky ear
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
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