Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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