Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize