Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
