miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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