what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
