trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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