Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
