dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
its not stalking. its research.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
