Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
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