I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
