i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
