My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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