so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
