Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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