i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Welp...herpes.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
This is the high leading the old right now
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize