So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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