i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
