Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize