So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
