I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
