you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
