You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize