sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
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