I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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