Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
