I want to stick my p in your. b.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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