so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
