He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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