Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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