He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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