Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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