I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
My liver just broke up with me...
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
