hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
