You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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