pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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