they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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